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Parent of the Month: John Kinnear

One of my friends reposted John Kinnear’s blog post and it was a letter to his unborn son. The author had earlier in the week, run across a letter on Reddit about a father disowning his gay son, which broke his heart. It got him thinking, what type of letter would he write to his own child if they were to be born gay? In response, he wrote out his letter and posted it on his blog, which is a pretty cool one! Please read, as this is the letter that all parents should have for their child no matter their sexuality, likes in music, occupational dreams, or clothing trends. Have a child. Love that child. Their safety and their mental strength to survive depends first and foremost on the people who bring them into this world. I hope this letter changes you forever. Parent of the Month goes out to John Kinnear. Your child is going to be amazing and is very lucky to have you as a father!

Dear hypothetically gay son,

You’re gay. Obviously you already know that, because you told us at the dinner table last night. I apologize for the awkward silence afterwards, but I was chewing. It was like when we’re at a restaurant and the waiter comes up mid-bite and asks how the meal is, only in this metaphor you are the waiter, and instead of asking me about my meal, you said you were gay. I don’t know why I needed to explain that. I think I needed to find a funny way to repeat the fact that you’re gay… because that is what it sounds like in my head right now: “My son is gay. My son is gay. My son is gay.”

Let me be perfectly clear: I love you. I will always love you. Since being gay is part of who you are, I love that you’re gay. I’m just trying to wrap my head around the idea. If you sensed any sadness in my silence last night, it was because I was surprised that I was surprised. Ideally, I would have already known. Since you were an embryo, my intent has always been to really know you for who you are and not who I expect you to be. And yet, I was taken by surprise at last night’s dinner. Have I said “surprise” enough in this paragraph? One more time: Surprise!

OK. Let’s get a few things straight about how things are going to be.

  1. Our home is a place of safety and love. The world has dealt you a difficult card. While LGBT people are becoming more accepted, it is still a difficult path to walk. You’re going to experience hate and anger and misunderstandings about who you are out in the world. That will not happen here. You need to know with every fiber of who you are that when you walk in the front door of your home, you are safe, and you are loved. Your mother is in complete agreement with me on this.
  2. I am still, as always, your biggest defender. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re any less capable of taking care of and defending yourself. That said, if you need me to stand next to you or in front of you, write letters, sign petitions, advocate, or anything else, I am here. I would go to war for you.
  3. If you’re going to have boys over, you now need to leave your bedroom door open. Sorry, kiddo. Them’s the breaks. I couldn’t have girls in my room with the door shut, so you don’t get to have boys.
  4. You and I are going to revisit that talk we had about safe sex. I know it’s going to be awkward for both of us, but it is important. I need to do some research first, so let’s give it a few weeks. If you have questions or concerns before then, let me know.

 

That’s enough for now. Feel free to view this letter as a contract. If I ever fail to meet any of the commitments made herein, pull it out and hold me to account. I’ll end with this: You are not broken. You are whole, and beautiful. You are capable and compassionate. You and your sister are the best things I have ever done with my life, and I couldn’t be prouder of the people you’ve become.

Love, 
Dad

P.S. Thanks to a few key Supreme Court decisions and the Marriage Equality Act of 2020, you’re legally able to get married. When I was your age, that was just an idea. Pretty cool, huh?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

That letter was in response to the letter below. I typed it out for you to read more easily. The boy that this letter was sent to posted it on Reddit with the title: “This is what hate feels like.” My heart goes out to him.

Jason Moriarty

Jason speaks:

When I was a wee little gayling in middle school I used to get teased quite a bit. It certainly doesn’t help that my name, Jason, rhymes with Gayson. I thought that by hiding who I was I could escape my tormentors, but as it turned out I was not hiding from them, I was only hiding from myself. So at the age of 16 I came out – to everyone. It’s amazing what happens after that, suddenly the bullies have less ammo. So what if someone called me gay, they would only be speaking the truth.

Yes, it does get better, but you need to take your life in your own hands. Take actionable steps to improve your life, and don’t let the bullies ever push you off of your path. It’s those same bullies you will leave in the dust on your way to the top.

I fight for my rights!

If you want to contact Jason, or hear more from other editors that work on one of the funniest and LGBT oriented sites on this planet, click here.

Chick-fil-a VS LGBT

I have been reading up on the issue that reins as “hot topic” for the last week and have been just soaking it in. I could have jumped on this fight and posted something in defense of the LGBT community in a heartbeat, but felt that it was a very big issue that was not finished in growing bigger, and I wanted more information. For that reason, I held off. My husband even asked me a few nights ago, “Baby, what are you going to do about the Chick-fil-a issue?” I told him I had no idea yet. Below are some of the photos placed throughout Facebook and on other sites.

I am going to explain the story in a factual, non opinionated way before I comment. In order to fully understand the scope of things and how this has turned into such a big event, you have to put your feelings aside to be able to take it all in.

It is no secret that Chick-fil-a is an organization run by a Christian owner. They are closed on Sundays in support of God’s Day. President Dan Cathy, of Chick-fil-a, ignited a national debate by publicly expressing his opposition to same-sex marriage. His official statement to Baptist Press in response to his opposition of gay marriage was: “We are very much supportive of the family -the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.” It is also a fact that he has donated over $5 million to groups that “dehumanize LGBT people.”

People in an uproar, have jumped back in support of the LGBT by sending in photos of gay couples kissing in their restaurants, known as the “Kiss Off.” Chick-fil-a has employed people who were gay and had not fired them. The LGBT have never been restricted from eating there, regardless of the President’s belief system. There is still an existing rally to “not eat” at Chick-fil-a, because it “tastes like hate.”

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel has made the executive decision to not build the restaurants in their city, as they would be a bad investment due to lack of business, for “disrespecting our fellow neighbors and residences.” Crimes of defacing property to the restaurants by breaking windows and spray painting the buildings have occurred all over the U.S. People have built lines to interrupt business, who just stood in lines to order water, preventing the customers who actually wanted food from getting their lunch or dinner. Sarah Palin was a topic of hate, as she supported Chick-fil-a with her family on family day in response to this matter. The Jim Hensen company, which created toys for Chick-fil-a’s chain, decided to offer toys to the chain no more.

Lisa Hensen, the chief executive officer, supports same-sex marriage and will donate money that the company received from Chick-fil-a to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. In response, Chick-fil-a announced a “voluntary recall” of all Jim Hensen’s Meal toys, citing reports that some children’s fingers got stuck in the holes of the puppets. Many more people have since decided to eat in support of the chain for various reasons, including the love for their food or standing for Christian beliefs. Many people have stopped eating there, gay and straight, as a decision that the promotion of hate towards gays is so appalling to them that they will no longer support the chain. I am sure there is more to come from this event, as it has not even barely died down in the media.

 

As far as my standpoint, I do believe that this has been blown up into a huge ordeal because of the name and the millionaire. Please finish reading and hear me out. I am a HUGE supporter of the LGBT. I do believe in writing about all people that attack my brothers and sisters. I support same-sex marriages. I believe that the haters should stop treating gays as a minority. I do want peace and equality for everyone, and gay rights to be as important as straight rights. I do want their rights to be unrestricted. The harsh reality of this story is that hate exists. That people do have the right to believe what they want and voice that opinion. While people like Dan Cathy is exercising his right to do what he wants with his company and money, we should focus on the atrocious hate that hurts people, and even kills them. Do I think that Dan Cathy could have funded something better with his $5 million? YES! Use your money to improve the world, not sit here and target gay people. For that reason, I think he’s an idiot, with the right of free will and freedom of speech. I think his power and judgements are steered in an evil instigating place instead of a giving one. That being said, I don’t think that he’s entirely wrong for voicing his own beliefs. I think the fact that he employs gays and served gays food, showed that his standpoint was not forced to be practiced by all of his employees. If that were the issue, I would be saying take his ass to court! It is messed up to hear people come out in the open with hurtful things against our own kind that is unwarranted. It hurts even more when that person has the money to do something about it. Big or little, he’s just another rock in our path to equality. I have never expected for just the middle or low class citizens of our country to oppose this civil rights battle. It was bound to come out that a few millionaires would back the negative movement against our LGBT communities. That being said, I have every bit of faith that this fight will come to an end, as all other minorities’ battles have. It takes time, numbers, strength and patience. Keep eating their chicken. Or don’t. The fight goes on.

Because I’m Different

I decided, based on this picture that was repined on Pinterest, to look up some statistics for hate crimes motivated by sexual orientation bias. I looked up the following information from the official website provided by the Federal Bureau of Investigation under The Hate Crime Statistics Act of 1990. All hate crimes are unacceptable, and happen every hour to someone who is judged for being born the way they are. 

In 2010, 1,528 hate crime offenses based on sexual-orientation bias were reported by law enforcement agencies.

  • 57.3 % were classified as anti-male homosexual bias.
  • 27.5 % were reported as anti-homosexual bias.
  • 12.0 % were prompted by an anti-female homosexual bias.
  • 1.4 % were the result of an anti-heterosexual bias.
  • 1.9 % were classified as an anti-bisexual bias.

In 2009, 1,482 hate crime offenses based on sexual-orientation bias were reported by law enforcement agencies.

  • 55.1 % were classified as anti-male homosexual bias.
  • 26.4 % were reported as anti-homosexual bias.
  • 15.3 % were prompted by an anti-female homosexual bias.
  • 1.4 % were the result of an anti-heterosexual bias.
  • 1.8 % were classified as an anti-bisexual bias.

In 2008, 1,617 hate crime offenses based on sexual-orientation bias were reported by law enforcement agencies.

  • 58.6 % were classified as anti-male homosexual bias.
  • 25.7 % were reported as anti-homosexual bias.
  • 12.0 % were prompted by an anti-female homosexual bias.
  • 2.0 % were the result of an anti-heterosexual bias.
  • 1.7 % were classified as an anti-bisexual bias.

In 2007, 1,460 hate crime offenses based on sexual-orientation bias were reported by law enforcement agencies.

  • 59.2 % were classified as anti-male homosexual bias.
  • 24.8 % were reported as anti-homosexual bias.
  • 12.6 % were prompted by an anti-female homosexual bias.
  • 1.8 % were the result of an anti-heterosexual bias.
  • 1.6 % were classified as an anti-bisexual bias.

In 2006: 1,415 hate crime offenses based on sexual-orientation bias were reported by law enforcement agencies.

  • 62.3 % were classified as an anti-male homosexual bias.
  • 20.7 % were classified as anti-homosexual bias.
  • 13.6 % were classified as anti-female homosexual bias.
  • 2.0 % were classified as anti-heterosexual bias.
  • 1.5 % were classified as anti-bisexual bias.

In 2005, 1,171 hate crime offenses based on sexual-orientation bias were reported by law enforcement agencies.

  • 60.9 % were classified as an anti-male homosexual bias.
  • 19.5 % were classified as anti-homosexual bias.
  • 15.4 % were classified as anti-female homosexual bias.
  • 2.0 % were classified as anti-heterosexual bias.
  • 2.3 % were classified as anti-bisexual bias.

 

(Special thanks to Gary Randall of Gloganvlog for the lead on the picture.)

Emily Rae

Emily speaks:

I support the LGBT community, not because being gay is “hip” or “trending,” but because no one should feel alienated for being the person God made them. LGBT rights should not even be an issue – they should be a given. Besides, without gays, I’d be a homely homeless midwife with only two pairs of shoes. END LOVE DISCRIMINATION!

I fight for their rights!

An Argument for Art

I viewed this artistic photo that was repinned on Pinterest today, and found myself so annoyed with everyone on the planet (from a general view) that I wanted to scream. First of all, art is an expression that is viewed differently by everyone, and rightfully so. Second of all, the people who make a difference and are heard about a topic, are the ones that get the most hell from it or go through pain for it. Third of all, Dear Public: If you are going to “reply, post or comment” on anything that is placed on the internet, you should try not to contradict yourself and twist yourself in an argument that makes you look unbelievably retarded.

This piece of art is meant to portray that straight people are also abused or neglected because they are labelled as gay. This piece of art explains that nobody is safe from stereotype, so why stereotype at all? Also alluding to the fact that the hate needs to stop because it’s WRONG. 

Now that the explanation is out of the way, here’s what made me want to throw up on my own computer screen. (So you don’t get lost, the individuals who posted or commented are labelled and numbered so. The Itallics are my sarcastic or assholish reaction.

Individual #1: Claims that the picture is powerful but states that this has nothing to do with gay rights. Then proceeds to write a few sentences that he probably pulled from his own personal stash of political poems about justice and morality. Then states that it gets under his skin. Closes with great photo. 

What? What do you mean? What gets under your skin, the powerful non deserving art or your banter? Dear artist, you moved me with how powerful this was… however it doesn’t portray gay rights at all… blah blah blah I can write negative bullishit, blah…. great photo by the way! 

Individual #2: She claims that this does not support gay rights. She throws in Besides, where is the link to prove that it’s true propaganda? How do we know it really happened?

Ok Britney Spears, it’s art. Or a poster. Or a picture. Or a frigging class project. It’s been repinned on Pinterest for crying out loud. Which means that someone thought it was a good photo and repinned it. Since when do Pinterest photos have to be accompanied with a newspaper article? This kind of thing happens every day, not just once a week. EVERY DAY. How is it that you cannot believe that a straight person can be labelled the same way a gay person is? Wake up sister! Want a story? Keep reading my posts….

Individual #3: She believes nobody has a right to put hands on others. She believes that God will judge. But she is perturbed because “this is amazing to be believed” without any real story or link, so it doesn’t mean that it did happen. She loves the artwork, but believes people should stick to the “facts” instead of posting without stories and the world would be a better place.

Huh? Really? Dear artist. Oops, someone got hurt. The world would be better if we stuck to facts, and God is our judge. No judgements on this particular artwork but it never happened without proof? What happened first? Chicken or the Egg you idiot? You still believe in both though, right? There are a billion biblical things that you’ve never seen yet you believe in them. Love, life and people are all facts. All three of those things are burned, raped, persecuted, and thrown away because of our own flaws. All of us. This is really happening. 

Ok, that’s enough proof of how people will attack anything without appropriate backing. After all of those ignorant responses, some other people commented on their ignorant comments, which of course, started a little war that ended up in siting the bible and the statement “no drama should come from this. So why paint it?” Basically placing all of the drama on the artist’s shoulders for even creating it. Typical human excuses.

Everyone IS entitled to their own opinion. You are entitled to your own beliefs. You are entitled to never approve any others’ way of life. The point of art like this, the point that I stand for and the point that people who approve of gay rights is, that all of this suffering is unnecessary. It’s wrong. It hurts more than just the “gay population.” Do you think that a gay person being protected by laws will make your life worse? Do you think that a gay person marrying who they love is going to shatter your world and your marriage? Do you think that a gay person having rights over their estates with their mate, and the funerals of their loved ones is going to dismantle all that is working for you in your life? Chances are, you aren’t 100% happy with your life anyway, and it’s probably mostly your fault! Someone told me they were worried about what their “straight children” will see when two men or two women hold hands in the street. I had to reply, “Take another look at our straight world. The garbage our TV brings into their lives. We are progressively ruining our children’s innocence at a younger age without the help of the LGBT community.”

We all deserve a chance at life with no limitations to live as ourselves. The limitations should be placed on those committing crimes, and who think they are in the right as they defend biblical beliefs. A rapist is a rapist. An abductor is an abductor. A murderer is a murderer. Regardless of the victim. 

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